Being Convenient or Being Right ?

Two days back when i came to office in the morning, one of my colleagues pointed out at the headline in The Times of India and made a remark about Bangalore being one of the safest cities in India for women with very less(90-100) rape cases being “registered” in the last year. we discussed some stats around the number and like the “Intellectuals” gave our own reasons of varying crime rate across the country. I didn’t even read the headline once. later in the day i went ahead my work discussed the same thing during lunch and went home in the evening. yesterday i went to meet some of my friends and we were at one of the cafes where TV was running in the background and same rape case was being featured about how many people were nagged by the police and how many are still on the run. we again discussed and gave our very intelligent sounding views on the matter about whats wrong with the so called “System” and what can be done to correct it.

Being an “Intellectual”  I am sure there are a lot of discussions floating around about the so called “provocative dresses worn by damsels of the society” or may be about “raising our sons in such a way that we will not have to worry about the safety of our daughters” and i assure you that we have succeeded to a great extent in doing the latter as these cases are a minority in a country of over a billion people.

but one question which has been troubling me since then is what has caused us to be so inactive and insensitive, and even if any of us would have been on that bus, would we do anything to prevent it. our logic system would have said  they are six, I am alone, i will probably get beaten by them the same way, let me not interfere  if we happen to be at a place where if some unethical incident were about to happen would we really help to prevent it or would we just witness it.

Logic will say “shut the fuck up, and don’t think too much you don’t want to be involved in this, you have a good family and parents waiting at home, why are you getting in trouble and probably give a you a thousand reasons for you to avoid the inconvenience“. but will you be able to sleep at night without thinking that you could have prevented it.

there are 15 OLQ’s (Officer Like Qualities) for which candidates are tested during selection for the Officer Cadre in Defense services. 12th Quality is Courage – which involves physical courage as well as courage of conviction(courage to do the right thing) and since this quality(among other OLQ’s) is so rare amongst us, it shows in the numbers (Indian army has a shortage of approx 12000 officers). 150 to 200 people arrive for selection in one batch at the Selection Centers and only around 3-5 get selected.

I am not here to bash those people who have committed the sinful act, they are being bashed by the entire country and will probably be killed if let out in the open by the same set of people whose souls were dormant till today reading such news on TV.

I am not sure how many of us teach our children to follow their heart and fight for what is “right” rather than what is “convenient“. many a times i have seen people jumping queues at reservation counters and shouted at them and alerting them not to do so. most of the times people came from nowhere supporting me and a group was formed thus forcing the person who jumped the queue to withdraw. sometimes i have heard elderly people saying things like “Naya khoon hai, jayaada josh main hai” and “beta usse panga mat lo, khud ko dekho (I am just 5’6″, and weigh around 50 kgs)” but amazingly the number of people supporting me always outnumber the critiques.

Most of the times it becomes easy for us to accommodate the injustice and get on with it rather than stand against it and fight it. Reason: it is convenient and everybody is doing so. and thus we proudly imitate the society which comprises of other “intellectuals” like us.

I am aware of the bystander effect and often wonder how intelligent it sounds to talk about it.Yes! You have read a psychological term, which most of the people are not aware of and they will listen to you the moment you start talking about it helping your ego to reach stratospheric levels proving you’ve a genius level IQ.

candlelight marches are cool: they help us being associated with the cause and improve our social quotient, but can’t we teach our sons to fight and let the cause not be there in the first place. i am sure most of would appreciate anna hazare and arvind kejriwal for the awakening in the country but will slap our son if he decides to drop out from college and join politics or leaves his job to follow his passion, why after all he is doing what he believes in, right?

can we raise ourselves(and our sons) to listen to our heart and do what we feel is right rather than look at the next person and do what he(society) thinks is right and burst the bubble of convenience.

Why India is still a developing country ?

Recently I Read a Brilliant Story on Quora and Think it Perfectly Relates to India as a Developing Country and perfectly describes the reason behind India’s underdevelopment.

Old Story:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs dances plays the summer away.
Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

India - GrassHopper
New Version:
The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The Grasshopper thinks the Ant’s a fool and laughs dances plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant’s house.
Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter .
Mayawati states this as “injustice” done on Minorities.
Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.
The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance).
Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for ‘Bengal Bandh’ in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.
CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers.
Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the ‘Gharib Grasshopper Rath’.
Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the “Prevention of Atrocities Against Grasshoppers Act” [PAAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter.
Arjun Singh makes ‘Special Reservation’ for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions in Government Services.
The Ant is fined for failing to comply with PAAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, it’s home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.
Arundhati Roy calls it ‘A Triumph of Justice’.
Lalu calls it ‘Socialistic Justice’.
CPM calls it the ”Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden’
Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.
Many years later…
The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company in Silicon Valley,
100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India,
..AND
As a result of losing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the grasshoppers, India is still a developing country…!! ! :) :) :)

 

Source : Quora

A Girl You Should Date

This is The Follow up of  The Previous Post. Yesterday I read a Blog Post and comments, The good part is I Liked that Blog so much that I Decided to Reblog it.


Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.
Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

– Rosemarie Urquico –

Source: Here

 

Girls Are you Listening ? Top Reason for Why Should you Date Him ?

A very Beautiful Comment I Found while Reading a Post.

I speak from experience when I say this, so girls, listen up.

No this is not the most important thing.

The most important thing about a girl is her vision. Date a girl who does not let past experiences poison the thought of being happy together with a guy. Date a girl who does not reject a guy simply because he has been a friend for so long and cannot overcome the awkwardness of being with the close friend nice guy who would otherwise act perfectly in every way to make the girl happy. Date a girl who is not blinded by friendship that cripples her ability to see the bright and enjoyable future with the nice guy stuck in the friend zone.

Girls too often make harsh, irreversible judgments on how guys act to initially attract and hook up with the girl and fail to focus on how the guy would act to stay with the girl. That’s why there are far too many couple who hook up because of being attracted to surface impressions and personalities, but fail to realize the utter incompatibility between them, resulting in a harsh break up. Or worse, a girl may be pressured to stay together with a guy when she would have been much happier with someone else.

Girls, think about the man who you would impulsively shove away in the friendzone who understands you the most – the man who is the easiest to approach and treats you with unparalleled thoughtfulness and care. Are these not the qualities that every girls claims she looks for – kindness, compassion, consideration and affection? Why then, is he in the friendzone after fully considering the possible joyous future with him? How influenced are you by your past biases and naive emotions to give you that “uncomfortable” feel with a guy who would otherwise, be technically perfect for you? This “uncomfortable” feel is completely unreasonable, though natural, and girls should take an effort to overcome this because 10 years down the road, simple impulsive “feel”s aren’t going to determine your happiness, but a deep connection and understanding between a couple will.

This villainous bias that brings a sense of unexplainable discomfort can hurt you and in many ways. Think about this. If one guy tells a joke and you don’t laugh and in a parallel universe, another guy tells the same joke and you laugh, you would be biased. Why? Who knows, but don’t let it blind you from seeing what’s really important.

Sure, a lot of you are going to say “you don’t have to be so technical with love!”, which is true – there are some unexplainable, intangible things about love that just make it magical. But don’t been brainwashed by this feeling, you need to balance it with reason and foresight. Remember that those who are reluctant to be technical and rational and succumb to the “unexplainable pull” of love are the easiest to be exploited by cheap guys who know the analytic technical “tricks” to attract women, which would distract girls from their true personality.

Speaking from experience, I was a college sophomore. There were pretty much 6 men that were on “that” side of my life, 2 of which were in the realms of possibility. One was the nicest, most caring (but not a pushover), interesting and greatest guys that I’ve ever met, who had been my friend for several years and would always be there for me and we’d always enjoy our encounters. The other was a guy of the same age who I had been friends with but not that close. He was also nice, but in a very mellow way and god I was attracted to him for some reason. So the first guy asks me out and without thinking about it too much, the idea of him being a friend for such a long while overcast any thoughts of a possible future with him, so I put him in the friendzone. I ended up going out with the second guy. However, our relationship was not without its rough edges. Sometimes, it seemed like he never cared for me and other times it seemed as if he was, for a lack of words, being a total jerk both to me and people around him. However, I was pressured to stay together with him because, at that time I thought “honestly, who would want to have “breakup” appear in their history?” I ended up marrying him and holy crap, it was a rough ride. Finally, I came to my senses and decided that this would not have any happy outcomes without an astronomical, time-consuming, mind-drenching effort.

So what happened? I let my biases blind me from seeing who would be the right guy for me. I’ve completely lost contact with him but I’m certain it would’ve been better than me pursuing a relationship driven by unexplainable attraction impulses.

Succinctly, girls, don’t let your past prejudices and bias prevent you from seeing the possible future with a man.

You Can find the Source Here.

My Height Depended on Whom I Was Dating – Amy Purdy

My Height Depended on Whom I Was Dating – Amy Purdy

A Brilliant Example of Positive Attitude and Optimism, and if you think You have Bigger problems then please view the whole talk and then think again.

If your life were A book, and you were the Author, How would you want the story to go?  That’s the question that Changed my life for ever – Amy Purdy.

One of Best and Most Inspirational Ted Talks Ever.

What do you regret not doing in your 20’s?

Those Who are in their 20’s can Learn from This.

Top Answer by June Chan

It’s not regret. But looking back, it seems my life would have been better if I had done / had known these earlier:

  • On love: Leave an unhappy relationship. It’s not about commitment. It’s about how to respect yourself.
  • On work: Quit an unhappy job. The feeling of being caged, deprived of the opportunity to learn new things simply because of your role – are not compensated by pay or even gratification of supporting your loved ones.
  • On emotion: Appreciate, listen to, even indulge in emotions sometimes. It keeps a human life. No worries, we’re rational enough. Our brain is amazing.
  • On body: Have happy (safe) sex more and earlier. Play fun sports more and earlier. Feeling a cramp in my leg once saved me from depression due to overthinking.
  • On money: More is not better. There’s a threshold over which you feel secured and free to pursue your dreams. Work constantly to lower this threshold. It frees you from constraints that you set for yourself.
  • On desire/passion: It’s OK that desire/passion changes over time. Someday the dots can be linked. Before that, follow the passion even as it takes leaps and seems without focus.
  • On fear: Never act/decide out of fear. You’re doomed. Lying is an example.
  • On people: Stay around those you want to become. If your network is not given, create it yourself.
  • On human life: You can change your life. Be kind, be honest (to others and to yourself), be grateful. Genuine happiness triumphs.

Regret is a self-referencing concept in the sense that you only become the person with regret because you were once the person you now feel regret on.

Maybe some journey must be traveled in order to learn from it. Maybe we should be grateful that, finally, we realize what we regret. Then everything is worth it.

Things I’m glad that I did early on:

  • On family: Invest in it heavily. They may disappoint you. But they’re (usually) there to cheer you up when the world disappoints you. (maybe I’m the lucky one)
  • On knowledge: Read a lot. Study logic and philosophy. Master a second language that represents a different culture. It changes the way you think.

Read All Answers on Quora.

Those who have crossed their 20’s can contribute for others to learn by commenting on it.

Things to do Before I Die

I Always Thought of Putting up a Bucket List of Things I Wanted to Do, And see how Much I can Accomplish.

1)      Sky Diving

2)      Scooba Diving

3)      Hitch Hicking across the Country

4)      Living a Minimalist Life (Maximum 10 Items)

5)      Spending a week without money and other necessities

6)      Educating an unprivileged child

7)      Meet Shri Atal Bihari Vajpayee

8)      Meet Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam

9)      Meet Lance Armstrong

10)   Meet Field Marshal SHFJ Manekshaw (Unfortunately He Passed Away in Jun 2008)

11)   Own a Stock Brokerage Firm

12)   Start An Educational Institution

13)   Work in a Non Profit, NGO

14)   Join Politics

15)   Fall in Love

16)   White Water Rafting

17)   Bungee Jumping from a Cliff

18)   Run a Complete Marathon

19)   Complete Four Deserts Race

20)   Own a Library

21)   Direct a Movie

22)   A 1000+ Km Road Trip By Bike

23)   Give a TED Talk

24)  Appear on the Cover of TIME Magazine

And a Lot more to Come in Future, if you have any please add them in the Comments Section.

Please Get in Touch If you Can help me out in any of The Above