Men are Honest even if they lie

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “Why are you crying?”

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked..

The woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked..

The woodcutter replied, “Yes.”

The Lord was pleased with the man’s honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, “Why are you crying?”

“Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!”

The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE “Is this your wife?” the Lord asked.

“Yes,” cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. “You lied! That is an untruth!”

The woodcutter replied, “Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said ‘no’ to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come up with CAMERON DIAZ . Then if I said ‘no’ to her, you would have come up with my wife . Had I then said ‘yes,’ you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT’S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE .”

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honourable reason, and for the benefit of others.

That’s our story, and we’re sticking to it! – Story of honorable men….

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Think About It

1. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won’t make you cry.

2. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

3. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

4. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can’t have them.

5. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

6. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

7. Don’t waste your time on a man/woman, who isn’t willing to waste their time on you.

8. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

9. Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

10. There’s always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

11. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

12. Don’t try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.


REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

Paradoxical Angerazi

There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple…

Is cheese the plural of choose?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?

Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

Quicksand can work slowly,boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese?

One index, two indices?

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

When a house burns up, it burns down.

You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?

English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France.

How can ‘slim chance and a fat chance’ be the same, while ‘ wise man and a wise guy’ are opposites?



Think Before You Speak

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back…or that you could crawl into a hole?
Testimonials of a few people who did….

1) I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked Loudly, “How much do you Charge for a shampoo and a blow job?” I turned around and walked back out and
never Went back. My husband didn’t say a word… he knew better.
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2)I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy With the women’s type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, “I think I like playing with men’s balls.”
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3)A woman & her sister and were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As they were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if they needed any help. One replied, “No, I’m just looking at your nuts.” Her sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and She turned beet- red and walked away.
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4)While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and
annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving “right now” she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, “If you don’t let me go right now, I tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy’s pee-pee last night!”
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
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5)Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-0ld son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell
for quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him
if he needed to go, and he said “No.” I kept thinking, “Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don’t have any clothes with me.” Then I said, “Danny,are you SURE you didn’t have an accident?” “No,” he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.Soooooo, I asked one more time, “Danny, did you have an accident?” This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. “SEE MOM, IT’S JUST FARTS!!”
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they’d ever had!
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6)This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a
very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the
future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you
predict snow but don’t get any….a true story…
We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to
have snowed and didn’t, turned to the
weatherman and asked: “So Bob, where’s that 8 inches you promised
me last night?” Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the
crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Don’t we all put our foot in our mouth @ one time or other.

Women’s Favourite mail

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: “Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish. The next morning,sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast, for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put way the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the check book.He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was

already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper,he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren’t finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love which he managed to get through without complaint. The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, “Lord, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife’s being able to stay ho me all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back.”

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, “My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You’ll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night.”

… Voted Women’s Favorite Email of the Year !

A great Poem

Around the corner I have a friend,

In this great city that has no end,

Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,

And before I know it, a year is gone

And I never see my old friends face,

For life is a swift and terrible race

He knows I like him just as well,

As in the days when I rang his bell.

And he rang mine but we were younger then,

And now we are busy, tired men.

Tired of playing a foolish game,

Tired of trying to make a name.

“Tomorrow” I say! “I will call on Jim

Just to show that I’m thinking of him.”

But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,

And distance between us grows and grows.

Around the corner, yet miles away

“Here’s a telegram sir,” “Jim died today.”

And that’s what we get and deserve in the end.

Around the corner, a vanished friend.

Remember to always say what you mean.

If you love someone, tell them.

Don’t be afraid to express yourself.

Reach out and tell someone What they mean to you.

Because when you decide that it is the right time it might be too late.

Seize the day. Never have regrets.

And most importantly, stay close to your friends and family,

for they have helped make you the person that you are today.

Corruption

INDIAN Numerology

A British Diplomat paid courtesy visit to Mr.Santa, During a Garden party at the Palace, he thought of entertaining him with the following magic of numbers.
He said, ” Your excellency, Look at the value of the alphabet :
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
Now, look at this Sir, if we calculate together it will be :

H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98 % Only

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96 % Only

L O B B Y I N G
12 15 2 2 25 9 14 7 = 86 % Only

L U C K
12 21 3 11 = 47 % Only

Sir, you should look at the final one, which is most important.

A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100 %

Sir, do you find it useful?
This magic can work on your people to improve themselves, increase, productivity, and make your Kingdom prosperous. Sir, I can arrange to send our experts to coach your people.
We can do it in less than a year” santa singh thought for a while; and said,’ I have better formula.

See this ……

C O R R U P T I O N
3 15 18 18 21 16 20 9 15 14 = 111 %……………….
Do you want me to come and teach your people? I can do it in less than one week.”